Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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