Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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