Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
