the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
