She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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