i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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