You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
