I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
