Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
