It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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