Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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