btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
