My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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