And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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