We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
