Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
