How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Can I color on your dick again?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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