member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
