when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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