why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
