So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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