Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
