he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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