This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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