just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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