why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
