Apparently you make a good broom.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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