Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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