I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
