my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
