dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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