I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
