My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize