Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
