I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
