Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
