Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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