Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule

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(212): View more from New York

R you on birth control?

(1-212): View more from New York

No, why?

(212): View more from New York

...no reason

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(631): View more from New York

i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

(1-631): View more from New York

been there done that

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(905): View more from Toronto

We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

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(845): View more from New York

im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.

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(636): View more from Missouri

She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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(904): View more from Florida

Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...

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