I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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