I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
