Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
