oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
