That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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