Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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