Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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