He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
