An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
