what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
