im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
