I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
